Let’s be honest: the relationship between product managers (PMs) and engineers sometimes feels less like a partnership and more like a never-ending tug-of-war. Engineers are pulling for precision, scalability, and robust solutions, while PMs are yanking the rope for timelines, feature launches, and user needs. Sound familiar?
Here’s the reality: if you’re a PM and your credibility with your engineering team is shaky, your team’s output is going to reflect that. Credibility isn’t just a buzzword; it’s the secret sauce that makes great teams (and products) thrive.
Embracing the Engineering Perspective
Speaking the Language
Engineers don’t love marketing speak (and by “don’t love,” I mean they hate it). For engineers, clarity beats flair every single time. They’re not just nitpicking syntax when they ask, “What do you really mean by ‘optimize’?” They’re looking for precision to build something that works.
Here’s the trick: don’t pretend to know it all. Ask thoughtful, curious questions like, “How would this approach scale?” or “What’s the trade-off if we deprioritize X for Y?” Engineers can smell forced expertise a mile away, but genuine curiosity? That’s gold.
Respecting Their Craft
Engineers are not code monkeys. They’re creative problem solvers who craft elegant solutions to complex problems. Treat them like the experts they are. Instead of saying, “Can you just add this button?” (which, spoiler, is never “just” a button), try asking, “How did you approach this?” and really listen to their answer.
A little appreciation goes a long way. Comment on the ingenuity of their work. Celebrate wins together. Engineering is tough—acknowledge the challenges they face.
Building Trust: More Action, Less Talk
Transparency as a Strategy
Nothing erodes trust faster than opaque decision-making. If you’re reprioritizing a roadmap, share your rationale. Explain why a customer’s needs or market shifts are driving the change. Engineers appreciate being in the loop—it turns them into stakeholders, not spectators.
Pro tip: Involve engineers early in the product ideation process. When they’re part of the discussion from the start, they’re more invested in the outcome.
Bridging the Knowledge Gap
You don’t need to write production-grade code, but understanding the basics of technical trade-offs is essential. Want to sound credible in a meeting? Learn what “tech debt” actually means and why it’s not always bad. Resources like “Grokking the System Design Interview” or crash courses on GitHub can help you level up without overwhelming yourself.
Communication: The Product Manager's Secret Weapon
Adapting Your Approach
Communication isn’t one-size-fits-all. Some engineers want detailed specs; others prefer a whiteboard brainstorming session. Pay attention to your audience. When discussing features, strike a balance between clarity and detail. And if you don’t know what approach works best? Just ask.
Balancing Empathy with Accountability
There’s an art to respecting technical constraints without letting them derail timelines. This often means saying, “I get it, that’s a complex issue” while also saying, “Let’s find a path forward.” And yes, you can say “no” to feature requests—but do it diplomatically. Frame your reasoning around shared goals: “Prioritizing X now helps us hit Y later.”
Actionable Strategies to Build Credibility
Quick Wins to Establish Trust
Want engineers to trust you faster? Acknowledge tech debt and bake it into the roadmap. Show you care about scalability and performance, not just shiny new features. And align your goals with theirs—when they see you’re not just there to “manage” but to solve problems, they’ll start seeing you as an ally.
Continuous Feedback and Collaboration
Encourage open, blame-free feedback. Ask engineers what’s working and what’s not. Take their suggestions seriously. When you implement their ideas or refine processes based on their feedback, you build trust that sticks.
Avoiding Credibility Killers
The Biggest Mistakes to Dodge
Micromanaging technical decisions? Don’t. Engineers are the experts—let them do their thing. Overpromising deadlines? That’s a one-way ticket to broken trust. And ignoring technical input? That’s how you foster disengagement, not innovation.
Navigating Conflict
Disagreements will happen—what matters is how you handle them. Focus on shared goals, not who’s “right.” Find a middle ground that respects both technical constraints and product priorities.
The Long Game: Building a High-Trust Culture
Relationships Over Transactions
Credibility isn’t built overnight. It grows through consistent actions, open communication, and mutual respect. Treat your partnership with engineers as a long-term investment.
The Ripple Effect of Trust
When PMs and engineers trust each other, the entire team benefits. You’ll ship better products, keep your customers happy, and maybe even enjoy the process along the way. (Imagine that!)
The Final Takeaway
Stop managing, start partnering. Invest now in building strong relationships with your engineers, and you’ll see dividends in team morale, product quality, and long-term success. Plus, it’s way more fun to work as a team than to fight over the same rope.
So, the next time you’re tempted to play tug-of-war, drop the rope. Extend a hand instead. Together, you’ll build something incredible.
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